This is from a series of single lifetimes in one chapter of my latest book, "Reincarnation: Past Lives and the Akashic Record." Doing this reading was very powerful for me. It also reminded me once again that what my personality thinks is not necessarily what is going to be in the Akashic Records. This is one of the five past lives that I saw for this client, but the most important, since it showed up first.
Meltdown Over an Actor
The next past life I wish to discuss involves a strange yet overwhelming reaction a woman had to seeing a certain actor in a video. Here is the letter she initially sent to me.
The next past life I wish to discuss involves a strange yet overwhelming reaction a woman had to seeing a certain actor in a video. Here is the letter she initially sent to me.
Dear Lois,
I only have one specific question, and it
pertains to someone I don't know personally but had a very intense experience
connected to him, so much so that it is what pushed me request a reading with
you. I'll try to make the explanation as brief as I can. The person is an
actor. (She named the actor, but I will leave that out.) He is an actor I
recognize by sight but could not remember his name, what I'd seen him in or
even the sound of his voice. There was no strong connection at all.
However a few weeks ago I saw him briefly in a music video and felt an instant, intense desire and longing. Over the next few days, the feelings intensified to the point that I felt there was more than hormones going on here. I could not stop thinking about him, it was misery. I also felt an increasing nervous energy that made it almost impossible for me to sleep or to focus on anything. To keep it short, this all culminated several days later in my crying. Now I've cried uncontrollably before, but this was different…like a tsunami. I had no control of my body; I felt more like an observer as I heard myself wailing at the top of my lungs. It felt like these wails were being torn out of my chest, out of my heart. I woke up everyone in the house. And when it was done....I felt fine. The nervous energy was gone.
In its place though, was a great feeling of complete love for this person. It felt unconditional, eternal. I have never been in love or anywhere close to it so this was completely new. I also felt heartbreaking sadness—the feeling of loving someone and knowing you cannot see them, that they have to go away and you have to let them go. It was horrible. I barely ate for a week, and only got out of bed when I had to. It was like someone had died or left me. I now somewhat have my appetite back, and this guy is not triggering such strong feelings in me anymore. But there are still these up-swellings of sadness (like now, writing this email)
I work with an energy healer, and she said that whatever happened, it had cleared out something in my heart area and allowed me to feel a type of love I could not before. I really believe that. I feel it was a positive experience but also kind of like a punch in the face—it was so intense and inexplicable. I feel like a crazy person. I would just really like to know if there is any connection between me and this actor, and if so, anything else I need to know or that needs to be healed.
Thank you for doing this reading for me (and reading all of this email!). I look forward to whatever information or advice you and the guides have for me.
However a few weeks ago I saw him briefly in a music video and felt an instant, intense desire and longing. Over the next few days, the feelings intensified to the point that I felt there was more than hormones going on here. I could not stop thinking about him, it was misery. I also felt an increasing nervous energy that made it almost impossible for me to sleep or to focus on anything. To keep it short, this all culminated several days later in my crying. Now I've cried uncontrollably before, but this was different…like a tsunami. I had no control of my body; I felt more like an observer as I heard myself wailing at the top of my lungs. It felt like these wails were being torn out of my chest, out of my heart. I woke up everyone in the house. And when it was done....I felt fine. The nervous energy was gone.
In its place though, was a great feeling of complete love for this person. It felt unconditional, eternal. I have never been in love or anywhere close to it so this was completely new. I also felt heartbreaking sadness—the feeling of loving someone and knowing you cannot see them, that they have to go away and you have to let them go. It was horrible. I barely ate for a week, and only got out of bed when I had to. It was like someone had died or left me. I now somewhat have my appetite back, and this guy is not triggering such strong feelings in me anymore. But there are still these up-swellings of sadness (like now, writing this email)
I work with an energy healer, and she said that whatever happened, it had cleared out something in my heart area and allowed me to feel a type of love I could not before. I really believe that. I feel it was a positive experience but also kind of like a punch in the face—it was so intense and inexplicable. I feel like a crazy person. I would just really like to know if there is any connection between me and this actor, and if so, anything else I need to know or that needs to be healed.
Thank you for doing this reading for me (and reading all of this email!). I look forward to whatever information or advice you and the guides have for me.
Sincerely,
Amanda Zimms
Lois’ Note: My first reaction was to wonder if
this woman were simply another nut-case obsessing over an actor. But before I
went into trance I carefully set that notion aside and focused my effort on
remaining neutral so I could do an objective reading. What I saw stunned me.
Paralyzing Restraint
Out of the four lifetimes which I saw
for Amanda that day, there was just one which was relevant to the actor she
mentioned. It was the first past life that showed up for her, which indicated
that the Guides and Guardians believed it to be most important for her to know.
Here is the actual transcription of the reading:
“The first
thing I am seeing is that you are in some sort of boat, but it does not look
like any water craft that I have ever seen before. In this life they are showing me first, I am
seeing a round boat skimming along the top of the water. You are on top of what
looks like a gigantic lily pond with lotuses and other water lilies. The water
is just full of plants and this boat is designed to do the least amount of
damage to the plants as it glides along the surface. It is much like the swamp
boats they have in Louisiana that skim the water. This vehicle is shaped much
like a saucer. It is a shallow, partial dome which has some sort of mechanism
at the back. There is not a propeller, but the propulsion mechanism pushes air
out and that causes the forward movement.
You are sitting cross-legged atop some cushions or folded blankets inside this thing which is large enough to hold five or six people. It does not have any chairs; it is just curved sheet metal and appears as though it was hammered into the curved shape by hand. It is quite lovely, and looks like a work of art actually. It is made of copper. Interesting. It is gorgeous—like a sculpture. Sorry—I am just fascinated with this object. So anyway, you are sitting cross-legged in the bottom of this boat, and now I am seeing that there is another person in the boat with you, a child. Also there is a man operating the controls at the back, turning the air-blowing mechanism left to right like a tiller on the back of a sailboat. I am hearing that this was a culture which predated ancient Egypt and some of the people who started Egypt—I mean the ancient Egyptian culture with the Pharaohs and everything—they came from this civilization. I am being told it is not Atlantis. A lot of people came from Atlantis to start the Egyptian culture just before Atlantis sank under the water, but this was another group from elsewhere…who joined them, and that no one seems to know about. They came from (pause) oh, I see now, they came from North America. It was an Atlantean Outpost in North America, but their culture was different. They brought certain things to the mix that people from Atlantis did not bring, so that is where this water-transiting device and these people came from. I am actually seeing you in North America but it was so long ago I did not even recognize it. It is near the East coast and it was very tropical then...the Southeast Coast. Near where the Carolinas are now. There was a huge lake there at that time not far from the ocean, but inland, and this is what you are scooting across—this lake.
Now I see…you are on your way to a temple…you and your husband have been told that your child…Oh, this is not what I was expecting…your child has been identified by the prophets and the seers and the priests and virtually everybody at the temple, as a reincarnation of a very famous religious leader. They would not have called him a priest or a monk, but devoted to the temple like that, but without the celibacy. Your child was that reincarnation, or they were pretty sure your child was he—and he was being taken to the temple so they could test him. This was because if indeed he was a reincarnation of that monk, your child would need to go live at the temple. You were just hoping and praying that he was not, because you did not want your little three and a half or four year old child taken away from you. However, you knew that was how it was when there was a reincarnation of someone special like that. Naturally, you were crying, trying not to let your child see you cry. Finally you three arrived at the temple which was on a little island inside of this very broad lake. The island was surrounded by lotus plants and other water lilies. This was not an extremely deep lake, but it did cover a lot of territory
Upon arrival at the temple, you were greeted, honored and housed in a very beautiful place, much nicer than anything you lived in while these religious officials took your child to test him to see if indeed he is the person who they think he is. You were wined and dined, and treated like royalty while this process was going on. It goes on for three days. At the end of three days you were called inside the temple.
There was a ceremony in which you discovered your child was being retained at the temple to be trained, since he was indeed the reincarnation of the famous religious leader. This small boy was your only child, and you had waited such a long time to have this baby; there was difficulty with your fertility. This was an unspeakable loss for you. Sadly, the rules required that you be very calm and collected and not get upset in front of your child, because he did not need to be any more traumatized than being separated from his parents was going to cause him anyway. This group had been doing this kind of thing—separating children from their mothers—for thousands of years so they knew from trial and error the best way to do this.
Temple personnel had counseled that if you were going to cry, you should wait until you got home. Unfortunately, since you were an extremely emotional person who was also a very good mother that was extremely hard for you. Struggling intensely to control your feelings, you forcefully stuffed the emotions. When the ceremony was over, you hugged your child, told him you loved him and you would come back to see him once a year as you were allowed to do. You repeated to him that it was a big honor for him to be here, and you would miss him very much, but this was where he needed to be. None of you—not you, not your husband, and certainly not your small child—had any choice in the matter. This was just the way it was done in that culture. After the ceremony you went home again in that strange-looking, beautiful copper boat across the water to your home. For countless hours, you sat rigidly staring straight ahead, silently forcing yourself not to cry, and therefore never really let the tears out.
To maintain control of your life, you stuffed all your feelings for this little boy; all that pain was locked away inside. You did have two more children, and they were both girls. You were never the same after this loss of the boy, though, it was so deeply traumatizing to you. You went back once a year to see him and were very formal with him because he was a very special person. Each time you went there and saw him you were afraid that you were going to break down and sob uncontrollably, but you took a vow that you would not do that, and in that particular lifetime you would never, ever cry again.
Your precious son was about thirty years old when you saw him for the last time. After you went home you passed away from a heart attack; it was sudden and you died without ever having grieved over losing this little boy whom you had loved so deeply. This was, after all, your first child and only son. Added to that, you had known him in other lifetimes. As an adult at about thirty, he looked almost identical to the actor you mentioned. The actor is not a reincarnation of your son, but he looked almost exactly like him. In fact, they may be ancestrally related. Your son could be an ancestor of the actor, but that is beside the point. The actor was not actually the person you were involved with in that past life, but what seeing that video did for you was that it allowed you to finally grieve over losing your little boy. You just gut-sobbed, screamed, and allowed yourself to feel that pain in your heart and soul stuffed away for so long. It happened so you could finally let go of all that you had tragically been carrying from lifetime to lifetime.
The experience of seeing that video was set up as a trigger, so you could finally release all that pain and grieve the loss of the child. That is what that experience was seeing him in that particular—there was something about that particular movie or video—that triggered the memory.
That is all you need to know about that lifetime.
You are sitting cross-legged atop some cushions or folded blankets inside this thing which is large enough to hold five or six people. It does not have any chairs; it is just curved sheet metal and appears as though it was hammered into the curved shape by hand. It is quite lovely, and looks like a work of art actually. It is made of copper. Interesting. It is gorgeous—like a sculpture. Sorry—I am just fascinated with this object. So anyway, you are sitting cross-legged in the bottom of this boat, and now I am seeing that there is another person in the boat with you, a child. Also there is a man operating the controls at the back, turning the air-blowing mechanism left to right like a tiller on the back of a sailboat. I am hearing that this was a culture which predated ancient Egypt and some of the people who started Egypt—I mean the ancient Egyptian culture with the Pharaohs and everything—they came from this civilization. I am being told it is not Atlantis. A lot of people came from Atlantis to start the Egyptian culture just before Atlantis sank under the water, but this was another group from elsewhere…who joined them, and that no one seems to know about. They came from (pause) oh, I see now, they came from North America. It was an Atlantean Outpost in North America, but their culture was different. They brought certain things to the mix that people from Atlantis did not bring, so that is where this water-transiting device and these people came from. I am actually seeing you in North America but it was so long ago I did not even recognize it. It is near the East coast and it was very tropical then...the Southeast Coast. Near where the Carolinas are now. There was a huge lake there at that time not far from the ocean, but inland, and this is what you are scooting across—this lake.
Now I see…you are on your way to a temple…you and your husband have been told that your child…Oh, this is not what I was expecting…your child has been identified by the prophets and the seers and the priests and virtually everybody at the temple, as a reincarnation of a very famous religious leader. They would not have called him a priest or a monk, but devoted to the temple like that, but without the celibacy. Your child was that reincarnation, or they were pretty sure your child was he—and he was being taken to the temple so they could test him. This was because if indeed he was a reincarnation of that monk, your child would need to go live at the temple. You were just hoping and praying that he was not, because you did not want your little three and a half or four year old child taken away from you. However, you knew that was how it was when there was a reincarnation of someone special like that. Naturally, you were crying, trying not to let your child see you cry. Finally you three arrived at the temple which was on a little island inside of this very broad lake. The island was surrounded by lotus plants and other water lilies. This was not an extremely deep lake, but it did cover a lot of territory
Upon arrival at the temple, you were greeted, honored and housed in a very beautiful place, much nicer than anything you lived in while these religious officials took your child to test him to see if indeed he is the person who they think he is. You were wined and dined, and treated like royalty while this process was going on. It goes on for three days. At the end of three days you were called inside the temple.
There was a ceremony in which you discovered your child was being retained at the temple to be trained, since he was indeed the reincarnation of the famous religious leader. This small boy was your only child, and you had waited such a long time to have this baby; there was difficulty with your fertility. This was an unspeakable loss for you. Sadly, the rules required that you be very calm and collected and not get upset in front of your child, because he did not need to be any more traumatized than being separated from his parents was going to cause him anyway. This group had been doing this kind of thing—separating children from their mothers—for thousands of years so they knew from trial and error the best way to do this.
Temple personnel had counseled that if you were going to cry, you should wait until you got home. Unfortunately, since you were an extremely emotional person who was also a very good mother that was extremely hard for you. Struggling intensely to control your feelings, you forcefully stuffed the emotions. When the ceremony was over, you hugged your child, told him you loved him and you would come back to see him once a year as you were allowed to do. You repeated to him that it was a big honor for him to be here, and you would miss him very much, but this was where he needed to be. None of you—not you, not your husband, and certainly not your small child—had any choice in the matter. This was just the way it was done in that culture. After the ceremony you went home again in that strange-looking, beautiful copper boat across the water to your home. For countless hours, you sat rigidly staring straight ahead, silently forcing yourself not to cry, and therefore never really let the tears out.
To maintain control of your life, you stuffed all your feelings for this little boy; all that pain was locked away inside. You did have two more children, and they were both girls. You were never the same after this loss of the boy, though, it was so deeply traumatizing to you. You went back once a year to see him and were very formal with him because he was a very special person. Each time you went there and saw him you were afraid that you were going to break down and sob uncontrollably, but you took a vow that you would not do that, and in that particular lifetime you would never, ever cry again.
Your precious son was about thirty years old when you saw him for the last time. After you went home you passed away from a heart attack; it was sudden and you died without ever having grieved over losing this little boy whom you had loved so deeply. This was, after all, your first child and only son. Added to that, you had known him in other lifetimes. As an adult at about thirty, he looked almost identical to the actor you mentioned. The actor is not a reincarnation of your son, but he looked almost exactly like him. In fact, they may be ancestrally related. Your son could be an ancestor of the actor, but that is beside the point. The actor was not actually the person you were involved with in that past life, but what seeing that video did for you was that it allowed you to finally grieve over losing your little boy. You just gut-sobbed, screamed, and allowed yourself to feel that pain in your heart and soul stuffed away for so long. It happened so you could finally let go of all that you had tragically been carrying from lifetime to lifetime.
The experience of seeing that video was set up as a trigger, so you could finally release all that pain and grieve the loss of the child. That is what that experience was seeing him in that particular—there was something about that particular movie or video—that triggered the memory.
That is all you need to know about that lifetime.
A few days later I wrote to Amanda:
Dear Amanda,
I am wondering if you might allow me to write about your past lives reading in my next book. Yours was an unusual request for the past life information, and I think it could benefit many others to learn about this kind of experience you had after seeing the video—to even know that this kind of thing can happen to a person. I would change your name and all identifying information, including the name of the actor.
Please let me know how you feel about this, and also please know that it is okay if you do not want me to share your story.
Luminous Blessings,
Lois J Wetzel
I am wondering if you might allow me to write about your past lives reading in my next book. Yours was an unusual request for the past life information, and I think it could benefit many others to learn about this kind of experience you had after seeing the video—to even know that this kind of thing can happen to a person. I would change your name and all identifying information, including the name of the actor.
Please let me know how you feel about this, and also please know that it is okay if you do not want me to share your story.
Luminous Blessings,
Lois J Wetzel
She answered the same day:
Dear Lois,
I would be happy to let you include my reading in your book. When I initially wrote to you with my request, I wondered if you'd ever had a client come to you with a similar story. It was such a weird experience, and kind of embarrassing to talk about. I was afraid it would be interpreted as someone simply becoming infatuated with a celebrity and deciding, of course, they must have had a past life history together! So, I can't overstate how grateful I am that you were able to give me an answer and a reason for what I experienced.
The original incident occurred when I saw the music video with (the actor) in it happened last June, and it took me about four weeks to feel mostly back to normal. I actually could tell that the past life reading was about to happen because two days beforehand, I started to feel very anxious and the old feelings of sadness started welling up again. After listening to the reading for the first time I was pretty much a wreck for the rest of the day! I've been feeling a little better every day, but I did not expect the feelings of grief and loneliness to come on so strongly after listening to the reading. Even writing this is tough. There is something unspeakably difficult about losing someone without having the consolation of actually remembering them...remembering all the good times and experiences. When the grief passes you are supposed to still have all those good memories that keep the person alive in your heart, so to speak. It never occurred to me how horrible it would be to not have that, to just have the pain. There is this awful feeling of losing someone twice over. It's hard to describe.
As far as the video is concerned, I think there was something important about me seeing that actor in motion. Photos did not have the same effect on me. I think I needed to see his expressions, his energy, to shake something loose in my mind. I rarely watch music videos, but of course some innocuous chain of events led to me watching this particular one. What is interesting is that even though that actor is playing the part of a villain the moment he appeared on screen I felt the attraction. All I saw was his smile, and his eyes, and the laugh lines around his eyes. I actually felt a strong electric current go up my legs, through the soles of my feet, so strong it made my legs jerk. The image that stayed in my mind was of that sweet smile and those eyes, which seemed like the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen, a rich brown that almost seemed to glow. When I went back to re-watch the video though, I realized that although he did smile, it was never that sweet smile I had fixed in my mind, and it was impossible to tell in video whether his eyes were brown or black, the lighting was too dim. Those details were so seared into my mind though, and with such a loving feeling, I couldn't understand why I would "remember" such clear details that didn't exist. It was like I was superimposing something that wasn't there. That was a big clue to me that something funny was going on
I'm actually feeling a lot better now that I've written all this. Evenings (er, I guess it's early morning now) are when the sad feelings really take over, but writing this wall of text has helped! Anyway, thank you again so much for doing the reading for me, it's given me peace of mind and is helping to release all these awful feelings. Once I get past all of that I hope I will start to see how my life is changed for the better. There is no doubt in my mind that this grief has been seriously blocking my ability to connect with others from my heart on a truly deep level. I'd never previously experienced the kind of unconditional love I felt when I started grieving for this lost son. It makes it hard to let go, because I know as the sadness goes away so will the feeling of love, and it is so much stronger than anything I've felt before. But I hope this means I will someday be able to feel it for someone else, who is actually here in this life.
Sincerely,
Amanda Zimms
This was my reply to Amanda:
Dear Amanda,
Of course, I feel certain that the immense overwhelm is because of how very long the grief has been stuck and unexpressed. I believe it is good to do the grieving loud and long. This will actually heal your DNA (where our connections to past lives are—in part). Please go to my website www.HotPinkLotus.com and then on to the newsletter page and read "The Orchidium," channeled from the Hathors by Tom Kenyon. That newsletter is dated in July of 2013. The Orchidium is a technique for assisting with overwhelming feelings, and drawing in more sustenance to the energy body from the cosmos—great for when we are going through a rough patch, or have low energy.
Once you finish with the integration of this past life, and the grieving is all done, you will still love your little boy, albeit in a spiritual way. By that I mean it will seem more "subconscious" than anything else. The love is eternal. He is soul family. You are right about this: the important piece is that you will be healed deeply, and all kinds of profound love possibilities will open up for you.
If writing this letter made you feel better, I highly recommend you keep a journal about your experiences with integrating all these past lives. Writing can be highly therapeutic, and you write really well.
Blessings,
Lois
Of course, I feel certain that the immense overwhelm is because of how very long the grief has been stuck and unexpressed. I believe it is good to do the grieving loud and long. This will actually heal your DNA (where our connections to past lives are—in part). Please go to my website www.HotPinkLotus.com and then on to the newsletter page and read "The Orchidium," channeled from the Hathors by Tom Kenyon. That newsletter is dated in July of 2013. The Orchidium is a technique for assisting with overwhelming feelings, and drawing in more sustenance to the energy body from the cosmos—great for when we are going through a rough patch, or have low energy.
Once you finish with the integration of this past life, and the grieving is all done, you will still love your little boy, albeit in a spiritual way. By that I mean it will seem more "subconscious" than anything else. The love is eternal. He is soul family. You are right about this: the important piece is that you will be healed deeply, and all kinds of profound love possibilities will open up for you.
If writing this letter made you feel better, I highly recommend you keep a journal about your experiences with integrating all these past lives. Writing can be highly therapeutic, and you write really well.
Blessings,
Lois
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