Wednesday, October 14, 2015
The following comes from a past life reading that was part of an entire session which covered four past lives for a client whom we will call Elise. At the end you will be able to see Elise's feedback about this part of the reading.
Lois: In the first lifetime I’m seeing you are a keeper of doves. They are housed in a kind of a brick or stone structure, and this was a long time ago—several hundreds of years ago. I’m not sure exactly what the location is, but it’s not one I’m familiar with. It doesn’t look like you’re from the Americas or Asia—could be North Africa, you know, the Middle East. It has that feel.
So as I was saying, I see that you’re tending doves; that’s your job. You collect the eggs, feed the doves, and make sure there are no predators nearby. This structure in which they are housed is a cylindrical building that looks like it was made by hand with stones that are light colored…sort of like limestone. The mortar is handmade mortar, and this building is lovely but rough-hewn looking. You have a nice, sturdy wooden ladder with big steps that you climb to get about thirty feet above the floor in order to reach the height where the doves stay. In addition to collecting eggs, you clean out the bird droppings which is used for fertilizer and collect the feathers which are used for a variety of things from decorative uses to stuffing pillows and so on. It is a very important job and it has a certain sacred ritual pattern to which you were required to adhere. The ritual was considered important to the relationship between the human kingdom and the dove kingdom. This is your calling. It’s like a shaman’s calling—a dove keeper's calling was so important. Part of it had to do with something that is not mundane like we were just talking about with gathering feathers and taking the droppings to the garden and all that.
That part was that you also had a mind-to-mind communication with the doves which was not that uncommon in a many other cultures; American Indians did it as well. There was a type of divination, actually, that went along with becoming a dove-keeper. Only psychic people were asked to do it and that was your sole and sacred responsibility: taking care of those doves. You were also charged with passing on any messages the dove kingdom wanted to send to the human kingdom such as warnings: bad weather is coming in, or an army is invading or locusts are on their way. Doves flew around saw things and they had friends who did this, too, and they could tell you all what was on the horizon in more than one way. Because of the importance of your job, you were required to remain unmarried and childless. This work was an all-consuming thing. The understanding in those days was that it took all your time and energy to do this properly.
However, the day came when somebody was passing through town who took a fancy to you. He was unrelenting in his pursuit, and you had no experience with this kind of thing. This man also had learned that you were supposed to be celibate, so he was also subtle and didn’t allow anyone to see what he was up to. You are the only one who knew what he was up to - flirting and trying to seduce you. His pattern was that he went from town to town conquering women. Ultimately this young man, who was very handsome and charming, witty and manipulative did manage to seduce you. After you got pregnant, however, he high-tailed it out of town fast . You hid the pregnancy as long as you could but your terror of what was going to happen to you—your certainty of what was going to happen to you and the baby which was likely to be exile followed by death from lack of community support - was so overwhelming, so painful, so difficult that it actually drove you crazy. You experienced what we would call today a "brief psychotic break."
The baby finally did come. The community had figured out what was going on after you had the breakdown. To your surprise, however, they actually had compassion for you because they realized who it must have been who fathered the child. They had all been worried about their daughters when that man was in town, but nobody worried about you, and they felt badly that they hadn’t protected you from him. So after the baby was born, he was taken from you because you couldn’t take care of him due to your mental state. The community was concerned you would neglect him to the point that he would be in trouble.
Sadly, you resented that baby very much. Even though you were mentally ill in the beginning, as you got better you still resented the baby more and more because if you hadn’t gotten pregnant, none of this would’ve happened. No one ever would have known that you had slipped up and you could have gone on with your life. You would never have had your breakdown.
Of course, in keeping with their laws they had to find another keeper for the doves, and you were given some other task that was not at all demanding. You did not raise your child but for the rest of your life, you resented him because you blamed him. You did not blame yourself really, you did not blame the man who seduced you really, because he was not around to blame, but somewhere in the deepest recesses of your heart, you blamed the child. This certainly was not logical—we know that, but you felt it anyway.
Those two people are back in this current lifetime. The man that made you mentally ill by seducing you, is back as your mentally ill son, Harold. He came back this time to experience mental illness so that he could understand what it is like to be pushed over the edge, and how awful it is not to have full control of your faculties. This is a learning experience for him as a Soul. He wanted to know what that was like because it didn’t make any sense to him when he heard that you lost your mind over it. He thought that was silly and now he understands it at the Soul level.
The child you rejected and resented in your life back then has returned in your current lifetime as your grandson, Maurice. Part of the reason you’re annoyed with him all the time is that the annoyance has carried forward from the prior life. You are taking care of him because you both agreed to that before you incarnated this time. The agreement was that this time he would not be yours, and yet you would take care of him anyway. So knowing that may help relieve your annoyance with him somewhat. I suspect you resent his being there a little bit whether you’ve admitted that to yourself or not. Most people would be thinking, "When do I get to have my time? I raised my kids already and here I am raising another one."
But this is why: because you didn’t raise him last time, and you decided this time you would raise him—somebody else’s kid—like other people did for you in the dove-keeper lifetime. About the time that he is old enough to leave, which shouldn’t be that much longer, the karma is going to be balanced and the two of you can go your own ways. You will find him far less annoying when he comes back to visit. As he grows older, you will see he is really going to be a nice guy and you will take pleasure in his company.
Here is Elise's feedback:
It has been about ten weeks since I received my Akashic records reading. The more I listen the more my understanding and compassion deepen. I’ve told you in an earlier email that I relate with being a dove-keeper in ancient times. I love and keep several pet birds and used to manage fifty-four aviaries with my late husband, Charles, who passed in 2011. I feel he was with me in that life as a keeper of doves, though he wasn’t on my question list and you didn’t mention it. My “knowing” is that Charles was a leader who had compassion for me and influenced others on my behalf. Because of him I only lost my job and wasn’t exiled along with my baby for breaking my celibacy. I got pregnant and resented the baby, my grandson Maurice in this life. I’m sure Charles was one who felt badly for not protecting me from the guy who seduced me and Charles judged the man as a scoundrel. It makes sense that he and I agreed to have the “scoundrel” as our son Harold in this life, a boy we raised from an innocent child and knew as a caring, smart and athletic young man before he became mentally ill.
You also mentioned two lives in which I experienced brief psychotic breaks. I had one in 1987 as well, but found the support I needed in 12 step self-help groups, where I got better by helping others. Interesting!
Lois' note: I had not known prior to doing the reading that she'd ever had any form of mental illness in her current lifetime.
The resentment I felt for the baby who came to Earth as a result of my indiscretion as a dove-keeper, and another life where he was my brain-injured assistant in the kitchen, explains some things in my current relationship with my grandson Maurice. I feel more relaxed because of my awareness that I chose to do karmic work, and that any frustration I feel, especially when he is doing (or not doing!) kitchen chores, has deeper roots.
Thank you for this most helpful reading.